18 May 2007 - I'm Grieving

A text message came in about 6.30pm and I didn't read it until I boarded the bus to my mum-in-law's place..... The message was from my brother and it read,

"Dear All, my beloved MAS has just passed away few hours ago"

I couldn't believe my eyes !

MAS is one of our family dogs of pure King Charles Spaniel breed. I loved him the most among all the doggies my parents have. He is so blurry and innocent looking but yet the most mischevious about the lot. He seldom barks but is as greedy as a pig. He snoorzed as loud as my dad when he sleeps. He grew from a tiny little puppy to a big fat dog. He had such a rounded and big backside that I couldn't resist smacking his 'pi pi' whenever I saw him. He can stand all my kind of 'bully and torture' whenever I play with him and he seems to enjoy it ! We could enjoyed such plays almost everyday before my mum shifted and I moved into my own flat. Despite only seeing me a couple of hours weekly or even fortnightly, he was still able to recognise me, much to my delight.

I quickly called my brother to verify and it was true my doggie died 3 hours ago and my brother and just sent him for cremation. My heart sank immediately and I couldn't help but cried my all th way during the bus journey to my in-laws' place.

I noticed MAS has lost significent weight during one visit to my mum's place about 6 weeks ago. His round backside is totally gone. My mum told me his urine is in dark brown once in a while. I was quite worried and ask my mum to bring him to see a vet. As weeks went off, he was still getting thinner despite he was still eating well. No vet visit has been scheduled yet as my parents are short of money. Seeing a vet is much more expensive than see a doctor.

The last time I saw him was the Tuesday before he passed away. Mum said he has been eating well for the past few days and has become quite restless.... he don't even have the mood to play with me. A vet visit was finally scheduled for the afternoon on that fateful Friday.

Mum left home for lunch at 12nn with aunties and she said MAS was wagging his tails vigorously and happily, sending her out of the house like usual. Bro was on his way to pick MAS up to see the vet at 3.30pm when dad called to inform he had passed away. Mum rushed home and was totally heart-broken and wept sadly. We had suspected MAS could have died because of heart attack.

I don't dare to call my mum when I received the news to console her because I know I cannot control myself too. I need to compose myself before I have the guts to face her and managed to visit her on Saturday afternoon. Thanks Buddha, she has somehow overcome the grief and was normal in front of me.

I'm still grieving and mourning ... ... ...